I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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