walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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