I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
