He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
