My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What drink are we having for lunch?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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