Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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