Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
