Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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