She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
