I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
