did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize