I showed him my bush... on skype.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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