I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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