hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
