I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
