I'm lost and stupid without you.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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