CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize