i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
