That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
