at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
