it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You left your phone here
Wait...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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