She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize