Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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