How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
