Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize