OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
