1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
