When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize