I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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