Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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