I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
