you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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