he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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