Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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