nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
