i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
