I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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