when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
