he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Found your dick twin last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
