Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
