Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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