I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Randomize
