the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Randomize
