I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
