11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
