I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
