Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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