He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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