6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
