My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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