We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
