Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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