Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
