I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
