I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
