he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
