You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
