I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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