dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Houston, we have a blender
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
