I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
