At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
