I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
