Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
