Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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