That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
