it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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