Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
