bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
