Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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