i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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